Veganasaurus Rex

Is it now? Is it really?
Hmmm…would have never made the connection.

Perhaps the most ridiculous misinformation (though it’s hard to pick a winner) presented by the Creation Museum in Doucheberg, Kentucky relates to the history of the dinosaurs. The museum itself is filled with with model and animatronic dinosaurs (including a nice little exhibit with the children of Eve and dinosaurs frolicking about together in Eden) in recognition to the tremendous appeal these creatures have with children.

“Duh!”

The focus is essentially a gimmick to keep the kids enthused while they are being programmed for a future of fundamentalism. As a result, the dinosaurs compete with Noah’s Ark as the most popular theme of the museum. And, of course, what ark diorama would be complete without Noah herding dinosaurs onto the boat. If one were trying to make fun of creationism and decided to put together the most absurd interpretation of Christian scripture as you could imagine, one could not surpass the inanity of what this $27 million dollar temple of dinosaurs presents as a defense of fundamentalist creationism.

Apparently some dinosaurs got on.

The dinosaur room, which looks much like something you would see at any one of several children’s museums across the country, includes full-scale models of some of the most popular dinosaur species to excite the kiddies about biblical history, which as we all know, is all about dinosaurs. What is strange about this display is the information plaque that accompanies each of these model beasts.

Apparently, Ornitholestes was named after the fall
(and not by Adam as he named every other creature)
because there were no ‘robbers’ before Adam’s sin.

Where in a real museum (‘real’ meaning organized by folks capable of rational thought) you might have various dinosaurs relegated to various time periods according to the age of rock in which the fossils were found, at the Creation Museum, all the fossils were amazingly dated to ~2348 BC.  Anyone know what happened in 2348 BC?…Let’s check the creation tips website! Well, what do you know? Noah’s flood! It all fits together. Not surprisingly, every one of these data cards has the same date of ~2348 BC. (By the way, I wonder why the museum chose not to use the BCE convention?)

Another amusing part of the dinosaur information is that the museum indicates the “Diet after the Fall.” You see before the fall, we were all vegetarians. Even those pointed-toothed, meat eaters which seem to have digestive systems honed for digesting meat. In a fallen world, of course, carnivores play an important role…but, why let me give it away? Let’s see the display for ourselves.

Oh, I see…”By removing the weakest and diseased, carnivores help
keep the fallen world functioning despite sin!”
After all, what good is a poorly functioning fallen world?

Now look, if you’re having trouble accepting all this using the Bible as your starting point, keep in the mind that the museum officials sympathize with you, and they have agreed to provide a logical proof for this cohabitation of man and dinosaur. Certainly, this will put the matter to rest…

I knew crocodiles were the key…I knew it!

To cap off the inanity of the premise of the coexistence of man and dinosaur, the museum offers us some weighty evidence in favor of the idea that dinosaurs were not as prehistoric as those ‘naive’ paleontologists might expect. Dragon myths, they suggest, were not simply the products of wild imaginations, but were inspired by something real…something still present in the times these myths originated…something big, something terrible, something dinosaury!

According to the video as well as Answers in Genesis, the bible describes dinosaurs in great detail in the Book of Job. Recall, Job was the dude God totally fucked with over a bet with Satan. Was the the movie Trading Places (staring Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd and a topless Jamie Lee Curtis) simply a product of some script writer’s imagination or was it based in the reality of the Book of Job? It’s probably best to avoid thinking about that for too long…

jk

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